MY PERFECT WIFE AND MY PRECIOUS FAMILY
On our twenty-second anniversary:
I want to share something beautiful and rare.
As a child I used to watch ‘The Waltons’. It sought to present a
‘perfect, happy family’. It was something of a dream, a possibility but, like
Disney, one not often realised.
My life quest had this hope at its heart.
As life reveals, the path of experience, learning and striving is
fraught, complex, and muddled, but what is critical, is to keep an absolute
grasp on your ultimate hope.
I am now 65.
I want to share with you, that I have been living my ultimate
hope now for 21 years.
It all began at the turn of the new millennium, in the year 2000.
I married Annette.
We came from vastly different backgrounds and were totally
different people, yet there was some deep and undeniable connection and
understanding between us. I had grown to know her, over the previous 7 years as
a friend. I was reading a poem at a wedding I was conducting, when a moment of
revelation came to me, that I had just described my friend, Annette.
The poem by Edwin Muir was:
Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face.
I in my mind had waited for this long,
Seeing the false and searching for the true,
Then found you as a traveller finds a place
Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong
Valleys and rocks and twisting roads. But you,
What shall I call you? A fountain in a waste,
A well of water in a country dry,
Or anything that’s honest and good, an eye
That makes the whole world bright. Your open heart,
Simple with giving, gives the primal deed,
The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed,
The hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea,
Not beautiful or rare in every part,
But like yourself, as they were meant to be.
What remains a mystery to me, and humbles me and
takes my breath away still, is that I had not sought her or courted her.
She was a gift to me. She found me, and at a time,
when I didn’t want to be found, just left alone. However, against all the odds,
we grew to know one another and stumbled along life’s journey over the
following seven years. She became my friend and then my closest friend.
Then one day, through this poem, these words, it was
as though scales fell from my eyes, and I saw Annette, as if for the first
time, for who she truly was. The most remarkable, exceptional, deep, and loving
person I had ever encountered. I knew from that moment that I wanted her to be
my wife.
If we wrote about the story of those seven years, no
one would believe all we experienced. It would be one of the most extraordinary
love stories ever told. Perhaps one day we will.
When we married in 2000, I was 43 and Annette was 41.
They say, ‘Life begins at 40’.
I can say, “My life began at 43!”
It was as though I was reborn to the possibility of
realising my lifelong dream of creating a loving family, and this had always
been Annette’s dream also.
Over the next 6 years, we were blessed with three
sons. It felt like a miracle. Against great odds and doom mongering from family
and NHS staff, three healthy boys were given to us. We had been classified as ‘geriatric’
parents, yet three exquisite babies were now cradled in our hearts and home.
The years of their upbringing have been golden.
The walls of our home and the memories of our hearts
are hung with a multiplicity of images replete with magical, unforgettable
moments shared. Skillfully edited videos across the years make so many of those
moments readily available to us. Our minds dance with the sheer joy of all we
have known.
Many had frowned about us being older parents, bur rather
than being a drawback, this proved to be such a benefit. Young at heart, fit of
body and agile of mind, we were ready to give our utmost devotion to their
care, cherishing each day of their growing lives.
When life’s problems intruded, we were mature enough
and strong enough to weather every storm, and reach safe waters, intact and in
a better place.
Now those fledgling babes are two adult men and one
mid teen, and what has become of our domestic idyll?
It remains an oasis of love, loyalty, and life.
Our adult sons take every opportunity to return from
university and share family time. Family remains a priority and we are
constantly creating more memories.
They are founded on the quality of love and mutual
respect we share.
It is a delight to watch the deep bonds between the
brothers, demonstrative in their affection for each other, sharing common interests,
talking openly and honestly, and enjoying great and mischievous banter that is
never unkind or malicious.
As a family, we always eat together at the table,
putting the world to rights, discussing everything, and sharing ideas, whether
personal, moral, or political.
As a family, we still love having days out together
and going on holiday together. Being in each other’s company is always a joy.
Many couples lose touch with each other over the
years and particularly when their children have grown up, but not so with us.
Annette and I are deeply in love, cherishing every moment
we spend together, crossing new horizons, adventuring to new places, taking on
new projects and challenges and living life to the full.
Our understanding of each other and our intimacy is profound
and sublime.
Today is our twenty-second wedding anniversary.
I cannot express adequately how much I love my wife.
She is my life, my love, my friend, my oasis, my
birdsong, my succour, my inspiration, my resource, my exemplar, my wisdom, my
solace, my heart, my soul, and my all. There is not another person on the planet
who could have been more perfect for me than Annette.
She is compassionate, wise, intelligent, humorous,
deep thinking, with a remarkable understanding of people. She lights up a room,
builds easy bridges between people’s hearts, has a photographic long-term
memory of every detail about every person she has ever met and weaves happiness
wherever she treads. She is bright, vivacious, positive, and caring, eager to
help others. She sees through humbug, pretence, and hypocrisy in an instant and
is never in thrall to religion, status, or celebrity. She recognises innocence
and sincerity and there, plants her seeds and grows her gardens and walks with
others through theirs. She is like my sunrise each day, my blossoming world, my
hope, and my sufficiency.
She is a priceless gift, given to me.
I lift my hands in gratitude to the mystery of how we
were given to each other.
I kiss my beloved’s heart on this our anniversary.
posted by Bishop Jonathan Blake | 5:09 PM
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