Archbishop Jonathan Blake

The Most Reverend Jonathan Blake, Presiding Archbishop of the Open Episcopal Church B.A. (Hons), Dip. Pastoral Studies. Bishop's Haven, 105 Danson Crescent Welling DA16 2AS U.K. Mobile: 07767 687711 www.bishopjonathanblake.com bishopjonathanblake@ntlworld.com www.openepiscopalchurch.org www.twitter.com/bishopjonathan The Church is a member of The International Council of Community churches and the World Council of Churches. Married and a proud Dad.

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Location: London, Kent, United Kingdom

Gassed in Tehran, seized in Kabul, helped Mother Teresa, almost murdered, raised £300,000, ordained 1981, street sleeper, pilgrim to Auschwitz, Kenya + Pakistan 4 peace, began 1st inter-faith NHS chapel, wrote text on Parliament, arrested, relinquished his 12 year Anglican post 2 be independent, baptised 1000's in homes, on Mt Snowdon + in circus ring, did wedding underwater, wrote ‘For God’s Sake Don’t Go To Church’, nailed 95 Theses to Canterbury cathedral, arrested, co-founded the Society for Independent Ministry, was consecrated a bishop, co-founded the Open Episcopal Church, did 1st gay wedding on prime time TV, sued Associated Newspapers 4 defamation, co-consecrated 1st women bishops 4 England. Wales + Scotland, accommodated the homeless, took Mass 2 sex workers + posted it, elected Archbishop, arrested 4 taking kids on roof, not charged, founded ‘When No One’s Watching', became an ICV, did Jade Goody's wedding , invited 2 Downing St, wrote 'That Old Devil Called God Again', arrested 4 times campaigning against child abuse, had harassment conviction quashed on appeal, appealing a conviction for breaches of restraining order 2 stop a paedophile

Friday, February 07, 2014

AND GOD SAID - TAKE YOUR SON ON A PICNIC AND KNIFE HIM

And God said,

"Hey, you know you love me right? You've promised always to be faithful to me and to give me your undying obedience, yeah?

Well, I've got a little testie for you, just to check you out.

Don't worry, nothing too extreme.

Look, Friday you've got the day off. You've been working so hard, you're never home and the kids never see you.

So pack up a picnic and surprise your son - tell him you're going to spend the day together, walking in the hills.

Put those biscuits in that he likes and some ginger beer.

Now you will be carrying the food, so make sure your son carries the wood for the fire. Nothing like a fire to create atmosphere and trigger a sing-a-long
.
Hey, almost forgot.

Take your biggest knife with you too.

At the end of the day, after the piccynic I want you and your son to pile up all the wood for the fire, but don't light it yet.

Here's the twist.

I want you then to take your son by surprise, bind him up with rope so he can't escape and strap him to the fire. Then sink the knife into his chest and set him on fire.

It's a small ask to show you really love me, eh!"

Well yes O God, s'pose it is. No prob. I'll get it all sorted.......

( p.s.  God mutters under his breath to himself - Ha! Got him! It's just a sick sort of a joke really. I'll wait til the knife is about to be plunged and then cry

SSSTTTOOOPPP!"
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http://ubdavid.org/bibleexploration/light-old-testament/graphics/2-5_abraham-sacrifice-isaac.jpg

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